How To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

(or, Katie's Tips on Successfully Cramming Two Weekends Into One)
On The Sunny Friday Afternoon: fill The Tardis to the brim with every conceivable wardrobe option (just in case ya wanna wear something that has unfortunately been left at home). Drop lads at Bulldog's Work at 3pm, kiss all the family (twice) and hightail it down a side street where ya pluck eyebrows and smooth moisturising lotion on previously-shaved legs. Turn up the music, very loudly. Travel NORTH an hour and a quarter while simultaneously texting D18 to debrief him on his Raucous Night Before chiding self NOT to Text And Drive . Buzz into the Supermarché and recruit extra champagne glasses. Negotiate eleventy billion winding roads without running self or anybody else off them. Successfully locate wild sandy beach and nine other chicks at the annual GWoF. Uncork bubbly and proceed to make eight new friends. Walk on sandy beach. Dip toes in surf. Watch chick flicks. Talk and giggle until wee small hours. Sleep.

On The Sunny Saturday Morning: Get up at crack of dawn and stroll on beach with the gorgy Leighsie. Walk five hundred miles (guess the partial song lyric) into town. Order a divine Ristretto (forget the short black: the ristretto is the new short black) and feijoa juice and Eggs Benny. Eat. Laugh. Walk. Shop. All get measured by the Lingerie Lady. Laugh. Walk. Shop. Try on bikinis. Eat. Laugh. Shop. Read Mags. Have a nana nap. Go Out For Dinner. Avoid carbs. Clean up someone else's fush'n'chups off their plate. Delight the other restaurateurs by doing some more measuring. Savour a whole Crème Brûlée by self. Talk Talk Talk into the wee small hours again.

On The Sunny Sunday Morning: Wake up at six o'blimmin'clock with the *brainwave* that Self Can Whizz Home Right Now and still connect with Bulldog and the kiddos. That is, have two weekends instead of just one.
Cram everything back into The Tardis, fly home and do exactly that...