How To Get A Free Ride In A Police Car

1. After Debating Society meeting, have a few quiet ones with a couple of mates.

2. Get on the bus: late, late at night.

3. Unwittingly fall asleep on the way home.

4. Stay asleep as the bus passes your usual stop and finally wake up at the end of the route: far, far from home.

5. Stumble out, disoriented, and wonder which direction is home.

6. Walk aimlessly along the street.

7. Notice a car pulling into a driveway and stealthily walk down after it, in the hope of asking for directions.

8. Realise that the driver has locked his car doors and is currently on the phone to the cops cos he thinks he's about to be mugged by a nearly-twenty-year-old wearing a dark hoodie.

9. Sprint back up the driveway and activate your homing beacon.

10. Get picked up by Mister Plod three streets away with an "Excuse me, have you been wandering down people's driveways?", explain the situation, and get driven to your doorstep.