flip top head
(it's katie, journalling to herself.)
ohk. am freaking out now. the ball is rolling. everyone has a place at SCHOOL next year (we're still waiting for the littlest one, and actually, i am not officially IN at uni yet but that's ohk cos there is more than one university in NZ lol)
i am suddenly feeling the need to keep my options open and the deliciousness of making a big decision is over. now i have to live with it lol. i love the risk factor of change, just feel trapped now that it is happening.
and am thinking WHAT IF....? ad nauseam.
oh i do hope i remember how to write an essay (and where to put capital letters). i hope the kiddos are happy and no one judges their educational journey. i hope we all love the year of adventure. i hope Bulldog and i really do have mid-morning library rendezvous-es. and we both pass our papers without going mental.
but will there be any jobs for primary school teachers in a year? will i wanna go "back" to homeschooling/sitting on the beach/mid-afternoon glasses of pinot with friends... and feel like i need to suddenly become Ms Responsible Citizen And Get A Real Job but suddenly find that no one wants an ancient used-to-be-teacher-then-dark-side-home-ed-er-uni-grad-new-teacher???
love this poem that Hogman wall-to-walled me on FB today:
What is left of my brain after “Chicken Run”
Don’t tell me the truth
That it was all plasticine and cameras
I want to believe
I want to get lost in the magic
Help me feel the passion and get them over another hurdle
For what is life all about if not to risk?
To dare to dream
And then allow the rush of excitement to swoop over you
like some mad daredevil and defy the odds
After all if it’s a million to one shot
Then there is still a chance
That we may survive!
I say we do it
We let go and fall into an abyss of hope and dare to dream wild crazy thoughts
If only for a celluloid moment
Me and you and our little silver screen under the skies on a nice blue couch
Pass the popcorn