kate5kiwis: flip top head

kate5kiwis

“If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.” — Mitsugi Saotome

Thursday, October 30, 2008

flip top head

(it's katie, journalling to herself.)
ohk. am freaking out now. the ball is rolling. everyone has a place at SCHOOL next year (we're still waiting for the littlest one, and actually, i am not officially IN at uni yet but that's ohk cos there is more than one university in NZ lol)

i am suddenly feeling the need to keep my options open and the deliciousness of making a big decision is over. now i have to live with it lol. i love the risk factor of change, just feel trapped now that it is happening.

and am thinking WHAT IF....? ad nauseam.

oh i do hope i remember how to write an essay (and where to put capital letters). i hope the kiddos are happy and no one judges their educational journey. i hope we all love the year of adventure. i hope Bulldog and i really do have mid-morning library rendezvous-es. and we both pass our papers without going mental.

but will there be any jobs for primary school teachers in a year? will i wanna go "back" to homeschooling/sitting on the beach/mid-afternoon glasses of pinot with friends... and feel like i need to suddenly become Ms Responsible Citizen And Get A Real Job but suddenly find that no one wants an ancient used-to-be-teacher-then-dark-side-home-ed-er-uni-grad-new-teacher???
*ack!*

love this poem that Hogman wall-to-walled me on FB today:

What is left of my brain after “Chicken Run”

Don’t tell me the truth
That it was all plasticine and cameras
I want to believe
I want to get lost in the magic
Help me feel the passion and get them over another hurdle
For what is life all about if not to risk?
To dare to dream
And then allow the rush of excitement to swoop over you
like some mad daredevil and defy the odds
After all if it’s a million to one shot
Then there is still a chance
That we may survive!
I say we do it
We let go and fall into an abyss of hope and dare to dream wild crazy thoughts
If only for a celluloid moment
Me and you and our little silver screen under the skies on a nice blue couch
Pass the popcorn

18 Comments:

Anonymous sarah bean said...

oh wow. wow wow WOW!!

big hugs - exciting stuff, but scary too i'm sure. just, wow! ;)

6:48 PM  
Anonymous monica said...

wow! big changes.

i would imagine that you can make anything work!!

and my first thought was, 'oh, wonder if she'll still have time to blog?'

and what's the school year in kiwi land?

8:37 PM  
OpenID justhay said...

Lol, NZ is desperate for teachers! All the smart ones are buggering off overseas where they at least get paid decently!
You'll find your niche, just remember to have fun doing it :)

9:05 PM  
Blogger Barb the Evil Genius said...

I wish you all the best in this latest stage of your journey. You'll get through with flying colors, er, colours, I'm sure.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Cally said...

Just think - it wouldn't be half as exciting without the fear!

You will make it if it turns out to be what you really do want - and if it turns out that it isn't quite what you want, the experience will at least help narrow the range of choices, and you will find another path to follow.

I'm still looking for a path to try - the jungle of blackberries that surround me doesn't seem to have any - time to get out the slasher, I think.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Louise said...

I've decided to do the post-grad course in primary teaching next year, so I understand the whole "can I do this?", "will I remember how do write essays?", "will I be able to find a job afterwards?" fears...we can be scared together!

You will be great I'm sure. Good on you for taking the plunge.

11:13 AM  
Blogger andie said...

Breathe, breathe...Ready? Chant: Ommmmm.

See now don't we feel better?! This is major, exciting stuff. Anyone would be feeling the million plus emotions that you are feeling. You just have to breathe my friend and have faith. Have faith that it will all work out as it should. Like you said (which btw, is what I ALWAYS tell my kids too), "it's an adventure". A new chapter in your life book.

I am so happy for you friend. Truly, truly.

Mwah,
a.

P.S NO one knows I blog irl, shhhhhhh (on FB) :)

11:58 AM  
Anonymous Sharyn said...

Oh Kate!!! I am SO with you! I am having the exact same spin-out that you are!
I think we need to do the coffee in a cafe thingy - SOOON!

3:09 PM  
Blogger Our Home Schooler and Jen said...

continue to take things step by step
dont stress too much

most unis (I think)have student learning support centres LOL well ACE did
I havent been anywhere else
but if they dont they should
if you have forgotten how to write an essay then they would help you
Im sure once you start it will all come back

give it time
Im sure it will be all ok
HUGS
Jen

8:13 AM  
Blogger kate5kiwis said...

sarah bean
thanks so much for the hugs.
yeah *wow* is right, cos BeachBabeKatie will have to suddenly morph into StudentKatie.
egads! X

monica
'oh, wonder if she'll still have time to blog?'
lol, an addiction is an addiction - but we'll see how we go!

NZ's school year goes from february to mid-december. yeah, we get six weeks "off" at christmas. it's crazeee - end of year parties, christmas, packing for summer holiday all in the same week!!! X

hay
yeah, no jokes - my friend fleur-in-cambodia said that she thinks we'll be buying the global ticket in no time... X

barb
love your spelling, barb. i really do think that "u" in words and "s" instead of "z" rocks the universe!
thanks for the love X

cally
if it turns out that it isn't quite what you want
love the way you look at this, love the way you word it. and it's *so* true. if the sh*t hits the fan, we'll throw out the fan.
thanks for processing this ad infinitum with me.
mwah X

louise
YES! i read your news a wee while back! how blimmin' exciting - we can compare brain cells/study notes lol.
'cept you are in wellies, huh? i am doing my degree through waikato (if/when they get their act together) X

andie
Ready? Chant: Ommmmm
i needed that giggle. thanks babe.
you are right about The Adventure. now, what shall i pack?
(oops, soz about the FB blunder! but you have such a beautiful blog - if i was your irl friend, i'd read ya lol)

sharyn
right on! cos we could hardly get a word in edge-ways when ya called in HERE for coffee lol! X

jen
thanks so much for the confidence. i actually think i'll be ohk on the essay front - Bulldog will be my Personal Tutor lol!
and it feels great to open my head and let all this stuff out. i feel so much better already! X

12:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dahhling
if it all turns to shite you can always work at Foodtown!!!!!!

the der

6:47 PM  
Blogger Ang said...

I think our suspicions of what we need to do are most often what we need to do, and I would take the million to one chance anyday ... cause you cant break anything, and the family will still love you no matter what the journey brings next year. You guys are up for it... stay in it together, and just keep swimming!

I am LOVING your blog - thanks for sharing! xx

9:36 PM  
Blogger kate5kiwis said...

derrie
HA! that totally cracked me up!
yes. foodtown, or maccas.
NOT!
mwah X

ang aka dory
i am loving YOU!
thanks for sharing yourself.the suspicions - yes.
the togetherness - yes.
the million to one chance - yes.
i am suddenly reminded of this
mwah X

12:16 PM  
OpenID justhay said...

Okay, what's wrong with Foodtown? Huh? Lol. Seriously though, Rog gets paid probably twice what teachers do, with a company car, bonus scheme and overseas trip once a year. It's all relative.

7:43 AM  
Blogger kate5kiwis said...

hay
lol - the history is that fleur was a checkout/packer chick during our teens while i flipped burgers and chased drive thru cars at maccas... we each got paid $7.86 an hour or something ridiculous.

you are right about Job Perks In The Real World though (which shows that our society values stuff more than beautiful children - don't get me started lol) - and when i get to be The Scary Fairy Boss Loidy at a skool, i'll probably still be driving our beat-up-toy-motor-hatchback *and* buying my own plane tickets - but they'll be cheep cheep cos there'll be solar powered planes by then...
mwah X

9:02 AM  
OpenID justhay said...

Lol. When I worked at foodtown I got $4.37 an hour. ha!

Nevermind. The Fras Cove came up, Rog saw the ad when he got back to work today. Oddly, it made us both ...ambivalent. Perhaps we aren't ready to set our own ball rolling just yet. I'll live vicariously through you :D

11:01 PM  
Blogger kate5kiwis said...

j. h.
ohgosh i must be telling porky pies about my hourly rate at maccas then - cos it was TEN YEARS before yours. it was probably $2 something.
jeez louise.
craaaazeeee stuff.

oh so rog can stay as long as he likes in The Windy City? and there's no hurry to find green pastures elsewhere?
sweet! plus The Sunny Bay is already chartered waters for you guys, and i have a feeling that you might like to go off and explore somewhere new and adventurous?
but i'll save ya a space on the mount beach right next to our sandcastles in case yas do a fly by... X

9:17 AM  
Blogger nova_j said...

pfft you'll be fine! :D my MOTH is just about to finish his postgraddipteach(primary) & has found it surprisingly easy.. he's an actor, so if an actor can do it anyone can! ;) and yep there's *heaps* of jobs in the north island, quite a few of his class (including him) have been snapped up already even before finishing! so you will be sweet as peach pie! :D

4:04 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home