truth be known, i'm having a crisis.
make that a series of crises.
emotional, spiritual, mental: the list goes on and on.
my first kiddo has just left home. when he was born, a breathless protectiveness encircled his heart with mine. it hasn't gone away. he needs to individuate, to become entirely independant. everything all those older mommies said to me is true: and i am still struggling with the unmothering process.
i have one, maybe three more years before all my kiddos will be at school.
i'll have to change careers.
i *like* the career i've had for the last sixteen years. i don't want to say adios to
and i feel like i am in spiritual detox: everything i've believed up 'til now is currently up for grabs.
maybe i'm just reaching mid-life?
when i was sixteen i bought a Real Swimsuit from A Real Surf Shop. it was a brilliant turquoise and it cost me seventy bucks and i felt like Rachel Hunter whenever i wore it. come to think of it, i've been asked two or three times in my life whether i *am* Rachel Hunter lol.
that gorgeous swimsuit lasted really well: i even wore it when i was eight months pregnant with D18 at an *aqua aerobics class*. take note: it's impossible to do water-situps with your legs clutching the side of the pool when you're eight months pregnant. don't try it, unless you have a lovely friend close at hand to resuscitate you when you nearly drown in fits of giggles.
i have promised myself ever since that i'll get a Real Bikini from A Real Surf Shop. so for twenty two years (yep, add it up. i'm *that old*) i've been waiting for the perfect time, my perfect teenage figure to return. but every time i regained the figure, i got pregnant. yep.
five kiwi kids and a whole lot of grunt later, i've done it again.
er, not got the perfect figure, got the perfect bikini.
well, it's not that bad cos i found it for half price.
and who cares if we have to eat lentils and lawn clippings for the next month?
at least i'll get a whole lotta wear outta it this week.
'cos we're going camping with the locals.
yeah, for three sunshiney days i'm gonna sweep all the mid-life crises back under the carpet and get on with being sixteen again.