(warning, absolute rubbishy twaddle ahead - and a faintly pathetic/pathetically faint cry for help lol)
(oh, and sorry about the Bloglines/Google Reader/RSS feed stuff up, hopefully it's fixed now cos I have retweaked my template settings. I originally tweaked them cos anonymous peeps keep googling their anonymous way here looking for anonymous help in "how to make a grass skirt", but unfortunately that effed up the RSS feed settings so I've set Katie The Techno Geek loose on the fix-up.)
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This is the part I like least about Being A Mummy - The "Bad Cop" part. Over the years, I've tried various sorts of incentives and, quite frankly, bribes; and turned many blind eyes. ("...one eye lookin' atcha, one eye lookin' FOR ya...")
I've cajoled and sometimes threatened and even sneaked up on The Kids' Bedrooms a.k.a. I'm Not Jinxing It, But You're Gonna Break Your Leg In There.
It's just that I wanna be able to rescue my babies if there's a fire in the night, without breaking my own leg. But I also respect their space. And there's the small matter of The Disappearing Socks, and the fast-appearing Need To Find The School Uniforms daze.
For the last few weeks I've had my head buried in the sand and surf while the kiddos (for probably the only time in their lives) have been blithely Counting Down The Sleeps Until School Starts. At the excuse of purging The Bad Cop from my persona, I've been ignoring all sorts of pile-ups. Starting with my wardrobe, which is still seven inches deep with last year's homeschooling paraphernalia unstacked all over the floor. Talk about a potential hospital trip. Also talk about subconsciously not wanting to adios my previous life just yet.
But the time has come for a massive clean out. Yessir, it's out with procrastination, and in with School Uniforms neatly folded in the drawers.
This afternoon, armed with a Big Fat Chocolate Bar (as incentive) and Katie's biceps (which have expanded by 0.5cm in the last six weeks, oh yes. But oh dear, so has her waistline - that's another story) and a big bottle of water for rehydration cos it's soooo hot here we began The Excavation of The Boys' Room.
EGADS - instantly the level of emotion has risen - and I am pendulum-swinging between non-conflict and desperation as The Two Dollar Headless Dragon is in the throes of being rescued from the rubbish bag and reinstated on the bookshelf. But his head is nowhere to be seen. The chocolate bar is already half eaten and for miles around all we can see are boxes of stuff. And there is shrieking. So here I am - escaping.*little conflicting voices in my head*
Harden Up Katie. Oh Vizzini, you really are a meanie.
Bring It On. Find The Cop Hat. Many Hands Make Light Work. Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth. Just Leave It. Just Do It. Gently Now. Let's All Have A Square Of Chocolate. Let's Ask Daddy To Help. Absolutely Positively Tidyton. Rinse And Repeat.
Oh, Charlie has just told me this joke:
Q: What do you call a man who hides in the letterbox?
Oh, and Sam is serenading me with his beautiful rendition of Donavon Frankenreiter's Whatcha Know About
- which is now in the sidebar.
Oh, and Mick and Raych have now turned on James and the Giant Peach
audio book from the library.
Oh, and Danny is on a Long Weekend Road Trip with Bob who is in search of some 3,000,000 volt speakers or something.
Oh, and Bulldog has zipped in to skool to do a little jobbie and nip to the gym, cos his hammy (which he pulled during speed training a week ago) is still on the light duties.
Maybe I'll put on my fairy wings and throw the kids in the pool and then I can sneak in and suck everything up the vacuum cleaner? Oh, except The Headless Dragon.
I need advice. Yes I do. Hello out there.....?